Crapshoot: Womb Raider, the Tomb Raider porn parody

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'Uh, Cara? You know you said to tell you if you started randomly stripping?' 'Yeah?' 'Nothing, just saying.'

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random obscure games back into the light. This week, a game-to-movie conversion that definitely didn’t get its own line of Happy Meal toys. Still, can’t be worse than Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life.

Since 1996, Lara Croft has been one of the most recognisable faces (not to mention certain other body parts) of the games industry. Movies like this were inevitable. We all know they exist. But what sexy horrors hide behind their weak puns and obvious gimmickry? Time to find out.

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