The 14-year-old shares his thoughts on technology and the potential privacy and security implications of the Internet
Talking to kids and teens isn’t always easy – we’ve all been teenagers before, haven’t we? When I first approached Xavier, 14, to talk about how he got involved in the online world, I was pretty worried that I would be seen as another adult trying to reduce his screen time. And, on top of that, I have to explain that his thoughts will be used in a blogpost Parents’ Global Day As well as Children’s Day (Which is celebrated in some countries today), although we all know that 14 year olds are no longer children!
But none of this was a problem. Through a video call, I explained to Xavier that this interview was intended to start a conversation between parents and their children about Internet use and safety, a starting point for discussing a topic that often causes disagreement, if not heated. Argument between parents and their children.
Is the online world part of the real world?
Despite being only 14 years old, Xavier has already lived in a few countries. Born in Brazil, he moved to Mozambique, then to Portugal, and now lives in France. For this reason, although most children his age probably attended two schools, Xavier went through different education systems and even different language education. But, above all, he has met other kids in all these places, and made some friends wherever he lived.
This is partly because, Xavier said, social media platforms are the only way for him to keep in touch with friends thousands of kilometers away and sometimes even with his current classmates. “I use WhatsApp, TickTock and Discord also direct messages. As a human being I am really shy. I’m not really a good texter and love video calls, “he said.
“So do you think online life is real life?” I’m surprised. “Yeah, that’s part of my life. I actually act like that person,” he admits. Offline, meanwhile, he says he is sometimes afraid of what others think of him “I don’t know why I don’t act like myself. But I’m working on it. “
(Self-) place of discovery
When epidemic-induced lockdowns began, everyone had to adapt to the sudden physical separation from their friends and schoolmates. In fact, home schooling has changed the lives of all children, not just because a laptop has become a daily necessity (not accessible to everyone). For the lucky ones, however, spending time in front of the screen has become a minor problem because classes, homework and entertainment were all confined to a few square meters. For parents, it was both a blessing and a nightmare.
For kids, especially for their teens like Xavier, it can even become a silent moment of self-discovery. “Because I’ll just stay home, I’ll spend some of my free time playing video games, watching TV shows. And although it may seem really bad, it actually helped me. It taught me a little more about myself and my personality. When I got stuck in online mode, I was able to experience and discover new things. “
Stock image (source: Unsplash)
Xavier, for example, continued, “It helped me get into anime, comics, manga, books, and video games that I didn’t know existed. Before, I liked the music I listened to on the radio, but when I started searching online I found music by myself, I discovered that I like other types of music Korean Pop”
For Xavier, this is a reality where all content is online, where “even our idols are online” some parents may not understand. They forget, he notes, that they had “television and magazines and now what is on the Internet”.
Kids of all generations, Xavier explains, “just want to be curious and find new things”, although she is aware of the dangers of the Internet for children. “Unless it is unsafe or unsuitable for their age, parents should allow their children to explore the online world with confidence and consider ‘discovering themselves’, though not without some supervision.” Parents may think some things are disgusting, because it’s something they may not have been accustomed to, such as ripped jeans or big boots! It’s freedom of expression. People should just be able to express themselves. “
Video games and apps
Xavier’s two favorite games
Most parents will have heard of Roblox, a gaming platform that is also Xavier’s favorite online service. “Even though you don’t just have a specific video game. Roblox differs from many other platforms in that it is an app that contains various games and the games are not created by Roblox, but by real teenagers. ” Roblox is not only fun – it can also give teens some grounding in coding and 3D modeling, while helping them learn the importance of teamwork.
Does that mean you play with other kids? “Yes,” Xavier replied. “There are many more video games where you can play with friends. One of the games I play, Genshin Impact, is mostly like your own world, and you’re actually exploring it, but sometimes, your friends can join in. ” But who exactly are those “friends”, understandably, a parent’s main concern, I told him, partly hinted at ‘unknown dangers’ online and need to be wary of people whose children have never met in real life.
Internet as a study tool
“Some parents may think that kids go to the internet just to waste time and it doesn’t help them in their studies, but there is a lot of information that maybe your teachers are not giving you enough,” Xavier claims. All devices have become a source of almost unlimited knowledge, and they are accessible to almost anyone, so “even expensive professional calculators can be used for free on the Internet”.
Photo source: Unsplash
“The Internet is not just a waste of time – it is also a place to learn,” and more than just school knowledge, the Internet also contains knowledge that parents may refuse to talk about রয়েছে things that both parents and children may be embarrassed to talk about, and We can find many resources that make us more open-minded than our parents. “
How can parents help their children stay safe online?
For Xavier, it is clear that “it is the parents’ responsibility to prepare their children for the online world and to look after them online”, emphasizing that they themselves need parental consent to play and use the app. But things are not always smooth between the two sides of the dining table. To help solve this, Xavier suggests five strategies in his own language to help adults treat their children:
- Keep an eye on your child, especially when they are using the Internet for the first time. They may hate it and think you are the worst person in the world, but for their own safety, keep an eye on them. Once they get a little bigger, consider relaxing some limits or gradually giving them some freedom.
- Get to know the apps and games your child is using, and show them the websites they can use to find information.
- Take time to play games with your kids, this way you can see what they do and you will do an activity together. In fact, be a role model to them.
- Don’t just tell your kids that they can’t use social media: it can only force them to use their sites and, worse, ‘on the sleeve’. Instead, try to understand why and how they use them and explain their risks.
- Set up an account on the same social media they use. Just like the Kardashians that everyone follows.
The bottom line is, “Try to be there, but give us some freedom. Don’t be angry with us: if you want us to understand something, you have to explain it.”
To describe Xavier’s words in detail (and if we haven’t emphasized this aspect enough) – the key is to establish a good relationship and keep the line of communication open with your kids. Ensuring that they use technology responsibly and stay safe online is a collaborative task. You may not be able to control their internet access and habits everywhere and 24/7, so equip them with the right knowledge and create an environment where they can ask questions freely. Listen to them and give them advice, make sure they are aware of the most common threats they face online. Cyber bullying, grooming, scams and other hidden dangers online will go a long way in helping them to survive.
Last word
Growing up at a time when the Internet was becoming an important part of the modern world, I could recognize myself in many of Xavier’s words. The myriad services and confusions available at the fingertips of children, however, make it a huge challenge for parents and legal guardians to protect their children from harm. If, a few years ago, dangers were on the road, now being safe involves online and virtual environments – what they read, what they see, who they talk to.
Ultimately, however, children are growing up more efficiently and to understand their future possibilities that are beyond the minds of today’s adult generation. It’s up to us, the adults, to do our part and help them navigate these vast resources. But let’s not forget that in order to do this, we need to ’embed ourselves’ in these technologies and services to understand how they work. And what’s better than learning together with our kids?
Read more:
A generation of connected kids
What is your attitude towards parental control?
Controlling children’s use of technology: a preventative measure or privacy invasion?
